The Knobbly Crook

Prologue

Talk to Chief Paincutioner Oddlar, selecting "I'm ready to confess" followed by any subsequent options.

You should now have a score of 10/1060.

Chapter 1

The Horse You Sailed In On

Talk to the Gummerlung Wrangler on the main deck about everything, and you will receive a piece of paper. Look at the name plaques in front of each of the gummerlungs. Back out to the main deck.

Go right to the Horse's Ass. Continue through the doorway and head right into the bar. Talk to the barman about everything. Take the empty cup from the dead customer on the left, then give this to the barman to receive a cup of liquid paper. Talk to the Bogold to the right, who will not give you his triangle. Talk to Jack Doesn't Know (with the horns, to the bottom right) about everything.

Return left and use your cup of liquid paper on the elevator, then use the elevator to go down to the lower deck. Pick up the bird skeleton and combine it with your piece of paper. Use your environmental suit on the pool of stomach acid. Grab a paper dart from the box. Shake the skeleton that has black shorts, then pick up the coin that falls to the floor.

Head back up using the elevator and take the saw from the wall. Enter the bar again. Talk to the Melodeen War Bard until she starts singing something else. Use her blast horn and you will turn it to the right. Now use your paper dart on her blast horn. Go right and take the Bogold's triangle. Give your paper bird-thing to Jack Doesn't Know - he will tell you the location of his shiny thing.

Return left and use the stinking hole in the floor to get some parasites. Now head back to the main deck. Walk around the small knot in the floorboards until you hear a noise and you will automatically pick up a frying pan.

Continue left to the Horse's Head. Use the square-shaped hole to get some nails. Now use your parasites on the square-shaped hole and you will end up with a hammer. Combine this with your nails to create a screwdriver. Walk up on the wooden platform and use your screwdriver on the large lid in front of the gong, then take the gong.

Return to the main deck and approach the gummerlungs again. Now use items on each of them:

• Nailbiter: Nails
• Triad: Triangle
• Piggybank: Coin
• Panhandler: Frying pan
• Sawtooth: Saw
• Gong: Gong

You should now have a score of 300/1060.

Chapter 2

The Power of Babble

Starting at the Fish Gates, talk to Glot the Gouger about everything. Pick up a challenge doll from the ground and use it on Glot the Gouger to challenge him to a game (you will learn the rules of the game). Each character you play against will have a different starting symbol and different tells.

Glot the Gouger

• Starting Symbol: Rock
• Starting Order: Rock > Paper > Scissors
• Leans Forward: Same clock direction
• Nasty Look: Keep same symbol
• Steps Back: Change clock direction

Use the blinkyboard (wooden sign) and you will push it over. Go through the doorway here, then continue forward through another doorway to find the Hemochine Festival. Use the blinkyboard here and you will push this one over too. You will automatically end up back at the Fish Gates. Head left and down the ladder into the Judgement Bureau. Talk to the pink-haired warden, but her shield will be activated. Try to talk to the others, but none are helpful. Look at the training manual, which you cannot get yet.

Make your way back to the Hemochine Festival, then go right to the Guffaloonery Gates. Talk to Chief Namesmith Lidswick, then to Twiddlet the Tweeze. Walk back to the Fish Gates, then to the Guffaloonery Gates again - Twiddlet the Tweeze will be gone, but a pile of dung will be left behind. Head left to the docks. Pick up the bottle of fishy-food from the grass on the right, then use the gondola to reach the top of the hill. Walk down the path and you will see the corpse of Twiddlet the Tweeze. Pick up the tweezers from his body.

Make your way back around to the Fish Gates, then down the ladder into the Judgement Bureau. Use your tweezers to get the training manual. Look at this in your inventory and read each statement carefully. Talk to the red-haired warden and win an argument against him by choosing these options:

• You're a self-loathing class divisionist.
• Pffffft.
• You talk big, but it's all a bunch of paper tigers, isn't it?
• Clearly panevidence of your innernasal anticonductivity.
• Gnuh! Words too hard for judgement wardens! Gnuuuugh!

Now his shield will be activated. Head to the Hemochine Festival and go left, then continue left through the shrub tunnel and into the Temple of the First Birthday. Take a birthday boy membership button from the box, then use it on the blue-haired man to the right. Return to the Judgement Bureau. Talk to the blue-haired warden and both of the remaining wardens will activate their shields. Push the black-haired warden out of the way. Walk down along the path and try to talk to the Great Crab Totem.

Head to the docks and use the lakeskipper, then travel up to the top dock. Talk to Muz the Bind, who will give you his bell if you beat him in a fight. Go back to the Fish Gates and head right to the sewers. Talk to Reelhead the Angler, then pick up the telescopic fishing net from below him.

Return to the docks. Use the lakeskipper again, then use your telescopic fishing net to get the piece of driftwood from the left part of the lake. Go back to the Fish Gates and give the driftwood to Glot the Gouger - he will make you a hermit challenge doll. While you are here, pick up some purple wood shavings and some colored wood shavings. Combine these in your inventory, then put them into your bottle of fishy-food.

Go to the docks and use the lakeskipper again. Travel up to the top dock. Use your hermit challenge doll on Muz the Bind to challenge him.

Muz the Bind

• Starting Symbol: Paper
• Starting Order: Rock > Paper > Scissors
• Right Eye Twitches: Same clock direction
• Grinds Teeth: Keep same symbol
• Left Eye Twitches: Change clock direction

You will end up winning the bell. Return to the right dock and use the gondola to reach the top of the hill. Put the bell on the platform to the far left, then use it. Try to talk to the Great Crow Totem.

Go down along the path, and follow the long passage all the way to the bottom to reach Bogold Square. Talk to Pinbutter the Perforator about everything, then get her to follow you to the Hemochine Festival. Use the spookhouse at the top right, then use the peepboard on the right. Pick up the 3 metal darts from the ground. Use these on the balloon pop game. Pick up the paper tube from the right side of the balloon pop game.

Head to the docks and use the lakeskipper. Use your fishy-food on the fish to the left, then use your telescopic net to catch a fish. Return to the right dock, then go down from the Hemochine Festival. In the strange path here, throw your fish down the open pipe leading to the sewers. Walk down and then right to the sewers. Talk to Pinbutter the Perforator here, then pick up 4 more metal darts. Return to the Hemochine Festival and use these to pop the remaining balloons. Take the small triangle once it appears.

Go to the sewers again and use your small triangle on the hook at the bottom of Reelhead the Angler's fishing line. Jump out to the line and you will slide down to the bottom. Try to talk to the Great Cat Totem.

Use the large fish on the left to climb back up. Talk to Augustus the Combustos, the banker on the left. Pick up a paper machemallow from the stand on the floor here, then use it on Augustus the Combustos. Head all the way up to the Fish Gates, then go left to Bogold Square. Talk to Fidge the Fusser. Look at the white material in which the Bogold is trapped, then use your charred stick on it. Return down into the sewers and use this on Augustus the Combustos. Now you can pull out the large cork. Talk to the creature down here and you will receive a rotten finger.

Go back to the Hemochine Festival and give the finger to Osmo the Breaker. Now combine it with the paper tube in your inventory to make a magic wand. Go down to the Fish Gates, then left through Bogold Square to the winding path again. Use your environmental suit on the green goop on the left and you will make it through. Talk to Tarsus Twotalk, then show him your magic wand - he will turn it into a negative wand.

You should now have a score of 750/1060.

Chapter 3

The Totem Pull

Use your environmental suit to return to the right. Make your way down to the Great Crab Totem. Use your negative wand on the totem, then talk to it about everything. Click on the 3 jets of water until you have shown these 3 symbols:

• Left: The Colossus Rock
• Middle: The Seventh-Dimensional Page
• Right: The Sundering Snips

Leave here and head up to the Great Crow Totem. Use your negative wand on the totem, then talk to it about everything. Go down into the sewers and take the bank loan form to the right of Augustus the Combustus. Now go to the Guffaloonery Gates. Use your stick to collect some dung, then use this on Chief Namesmith Lidswick. Now use your bank loan form on him. Go down to the sewers and give this to Augustus the Combustus in exchange for a pile of money. Return to the Great Crow Totem and give it the pile of money.

Make your way down to the bottom of the sewers, to the Great Cat Totem. Use your negative wand on the totem, then talk to it about everything. Use the fish to get back up again. Go to the Hemochine Festival and enter the impossibly heavy tent on the left. Talk to the Queen of the Torn Hearts on the left. After the conversation, pick up the envelope. Walk right to leave this tent. Use the envelope on the spookhouse. Return into the tent and give the envelope to the Queen.

Return to the Fish Gates and talk to any of the paper moths - you will end up with a paper spider-thing. Go back down to the Great Cat Totem and use your paper spider-thing on the eye at the very bottom - gradually move the spider-thing down to the eye, avoiding the various dangers along the way. The eye will end up where it belongs, and you can talk to the totem again.

Head up to the docks and use the lakeskipper to travel to the left dock - you will end up with the Sundering Snips. Return to the right dock, then go to the Guffaloonery Gates. Show the Sundering Snips to Chief Namesmith Lidswick.

You should now have a score of 970/1060.

Epilogue

Once the final fight begins, go through the following steps:

1. Use the Seventh-Dimensional Page to break free from the rock (repeat this if you are trapped again).
2. Use the Seventh-Dimensional Page on each of the creature's 4 arms.
3. Use the Sundering Snips on each of the creature's 4 arms.
4. Use the Seventh-Dimensional Page on the creature's head.
5. Use the Sundering Snips on the creature's head.

You should now have a score of 1070/1060.